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The Fallible Man

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A Different Kind of Man a different kind of Lifestyle

  • Writer's pictureThe Fallible Man

Women are from Venus

If men are from Mars and Women are from Venus the how do we communicate successfully?

Women have the ability to make men do the bravest and stupidest things possible. Wars have been raged over women and the world has been shaped by an over whelming need to impress them. This magic power they hold sway over us with is sublime and maddening all at the same time. No one can make you as happy or as crazy as a good woman. I have been married for 19 years and I have not found all the answers without a doubt; I have learned a few tips that I will share.

  1. 1. I don't care/know is always the wrong answer so take the time to answer the questions she ask with some thought. She doesn't expect rocket science but no opinion is always wrong, for her. As a man I can say with absolute certainty that men truly do have things that we have no opinion on. That is a completely valid state for us, with the way we think it is perfectly normal to truly not care one way or another about something we see as trivial. However while I am convinced that there are a few things and some exceptions women tend to have a though on almost anything and if she currently doesn't she will establish one on the topic at hand after she argues with you about it. Women value the conversation about almost anything they ask, not having it with her is seen as her not being worth the conversation.

2. Converse with her, do not interview her. I am really bad at this one, guys want the facts to get to the problem solving portion of the event (this is what we enjoy) I want to fix everything, that is my job. She wants to discuss it, have feelings about it and ponder. It took a while and still irritates her a little bit, but I had to start asking my wife one questions. Do you want me to listen or fix it? While this may have started a few fights, it prevented a lot more. We want to fix whatever it is, because that is our instinct. She wants to be heard and feel like you are placing value on her thoughts and are sympathizing with her. This is a huge struggle for a lot of men I know. It is simple, if the answer is listen, shut up and listen. Keep eye contact, acknowledge, ask good questions to let her know you are listening and smile.

3. Stop making logical arguments, it will just get you in trouble.

For a lot of women their full opinion may not be formulated on whatever subject they are hitting you with. (my wife is going to not like this part) They reach their conclusion on something by going through the motion on it. I heard a female marriage counselor once explain it like this. Men are waffles and women are spaghetti. Our brains compartmentalize everything in it's own neat little space, there is little too no interaction between compartments unless we need to process specific information sets. Women's brains are like a giant plate of spaghetti, if you start on one end of a noodle you are going to touch a thousand different points. It is why women seem "all over the place" in a conversation from our perspective. My wife and little sister call it pinball brain. Stop making a logical argument and let her work her process, she might land close to the same place as you and just not get there the same way.

4. Stop saying sorry all the time

She knows you don't mean it and she knows when yo apologize for not knowing something she didn't tell you that you don't care. Beside, it makes you look weak. If you don't know you don't know, if you don't agree, it is OK to have your own opinion.

Be better tomorrow because of what you do today!

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