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A Different Kind of Man a different kind of Lifestyle

  • Writer's pictureThe Fallible Man

Sexual Kung Fu? | Tantra for Men with Sarrah Rose

The Un-redacted transcript from my interview with Tantra Coach Sarrah Rose. Straight from my podcast complete with edit notes. For all of my Bibliophiles out there.

[00:00:00] David Dowlen: Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men? We dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands fathers, and still take care of ourselves. That's the question in this podcast, we'll help you with those answers. My name is Brent and welcome to the fallible man podcast!

[00:00:23] Sex. Now that I have your attention. Who doesn't want more confidence, better sex life, a closer connection with your partner. It's been called sexual Kung Fu it's life, all three, and according to a lot of people, and you likely really have no idea what it is and what I'm talking about today.

[00:00:39] We're gonna change that. Welcome to the Fallible man podcast, your home for all things, man, husband and father. My name is Brent today. My special guest is tantric coach. Sarrah Rose. Bring us some ancient wisdom for modern men. Sarrah, welcome to the fallible man podcast.

[00:00:56] Sarrah Rose: Hey, thank you for having me as you were doing that intro.

[00:01:00] I was reading the words on the background behind you and they're perfect. I love everything that it's there. I'm duty bound to reach my potential and so much more. I'm not perfect. I'm a work in

[00:01:12] David Dowlen: progress. Yes. Our new flag. Thank you. That's

[00:01:15] Sarrah Rose: That's so good. So good.

[00:01:17] David Dowlen: I've been asked so many times.

[00:01:19] It's like, what is this about? Trying to condense that down. So I, I did this design a couple weeks ago and I just got this actually earlier this week. I'm very happy with the way it turned out, it's a lifestyle we're trying to embrace here at the fallible man and there's people keep, well, what's your elevator pitch?

[00:01:34] I suck at that still. I've been at that this for a year and a half, almost getting closer to two years. I still don't have a good elevator pitch.

[00:01:41] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. I noticed it very on point. So thank you. I love it.

[00:01:45] David Dowlen: Yeah, Sarrah I am a crappy host. I don't do big introductions because I get to research my guest beforehand and I can read off accolades, but that doesn't actually convey anything to our listen.

[00:01:57] So in your own words, who is Sarrah Rose?

[00:02:00] Sarrah Rose: Hello everybody. I am Sarrah Rose. I'm a men's sex and relationship coach. I have been studying personal and spiritual development for the last 20 years. I went to India and I trained in tantra and I just have a passion for helping men and women reach. This a place of peace and rest in their relationships helping people in modern relationships, figure this thing out.

[00:02:29] Cuz clearly we're in a new day and age when it comes to roles and expectations and relationships and most people don't have a roadmap for this. And so it's my passion to bridge that gap.

[00:02:42] David Dowlen: All right. Now, if you can get through the next one, you're home free. This is the hard question. . What is your favorite ice cream?

[00:02:52] Sarrah Rose: Ice cream was like my least favorite dessert. we were having the discussion about this the other day. It was actually just a couple days ago. My mom was in town visiting cuz it was my daughter's birthday. And so we were at the restaurant and like they brought this massive milkshake that all of us shared and we didn't even finish it.

[00:03:11] That's how huge it was. And. My son said to my mom, what did you do to, to mom to make her not like ice cream?

[00:03:23] David Dowlen: well, see, it actually is a hard question.

[00:03:24] Sarrah Rose: Uh, but I'll go with chocolate chocolate, anything.

[00:03:28] David Dowlen: I actually never expected that to be a hard question that I've never had someone tell me they don't like ice cream.

[00:03:33] Wow.

[00:03:34] Sarrah Rose: it's just not my thing. Yeah, I get it. And I love sweets, but yes, not ice cream so much.

[00:03:40] David Dowlen: I get it. I get it. Everybody's got their thing. I don't like cake much. Oh, yeah. It's just, I've never, I grew up, we had birthday pies. We didn't have birthday cakes growing up. Mm.

[00:03:49] Sarrah Rose: Birthday pie. Yeah.

[00:03:50] Where are you from?

[00:03:51] David Dowlen: We're a real Southern family. My family's all Texan.

[00:03:54] Sarrah Rose: Okay. I lived in Texas for 15 years. So when you said birthday pie, I got it. I totally got it.

[00:04:00] David Dowlen: yeah. Yeah. That was the first time I went to a friend's house and they had a birthday cake, I was kind of confused. It was like no.

[00:04:08] So can't, let me tell you a story. You'll like this. So I wanted to have you on the show because a lawyer listener of mine actually came to visit me and asked me about the idea of having a Toro coach on. He told me that Toro was changing his life and knew most men's exposure was very limited or non-existent happily not long after.

[00:04:34] Your publicist, your people reached out to me about you being on the show. And I was like, wow, that's, that's just fortuitous. So him and I had discussed this over a couple days and he was telling me how it was changing his life. And so after your people reached out, I actually had him. I was like, Hey, have you heard of this person?

[00:04:52] I just talked to her people and he is like, no but let me look into. So one of my listeners actually has been digging into listening to your stuff, your podcast. And I think he actually signed up for one of your masterminds or something you did about two weeks ago. Oh, cool. It was a couple hours on a Saturday or something.

[00:05:12] I don't know anything about it. So I wanted, we'll vet this, is this going to fill that need? Cuz I don't know. She could, be telling me to do hula hooping to change my life. And I wouldn't know that that's not part of it. So I actually purposely did not dig into this.

[00:05:24] This is for my friend and one of my good listeners that has been very supportive. And I actually purposely did not dig into it. He sent me all kinds of like links from tan coaches he's worked with and stuff like that. He's super excited about it, but I didn't dig into 'em because I wanted to be able to come at this interview from the standpoint of a lot of my listeners, who this is gonna be a very new idea to them.

[00:05:48] And so we're gonna, we're gonna start from a zero point because I have a feeling that's where a lot of men are with their knowledge on. And so I'm really excited about having this conversation, cuz it was just this amazing timing to get a chance to work with you.

[00:06:05] Sarrah Rose: That's so cool. I love that and I'm super excited to be able to dispel myths that people have around tantra.

[00:06:13] I think the way that I teach it is very different from a lot of Being currently taught. And I just, I love talking about it. I love educating men on this and yeah, just like helping you guys really get how powerful and how transformative this is.

[00:06:30] David Dowlen: Awesome. So some of us are our limited exposure to Tora came from American pike, two.

[00:06:39] I don't know if you watched that.

[00:06:41] Sarrah Rose: I've never seen it.

[00:06:42] David Dowlen: One, one of the guys in the crew just becomes obsessed over the course of the prior year, this freshman year of college with tantra, and he's always meditating and he's holding back hoping to meet this woman. He's fallen madly in love with, towards the end of the summer who will be visiting.

[00:06:59] So he's saving up for that. And that is our limited, like. When my friend was like, Hey, I wanna tell you about this. I was like a thing from American pie. and so I'm sure that's really, really inaccurate like most things in that movie. So can you just start us really, basically, what is tantra.

[00:07:19] Sarrah Rose: Oh, wow. It's, that's a huge question. And it's really going to vary and be so different depending on who you talk to, how you ask

[00:07:29] David Dowlen: let's go. Let's go high level, cuz I'm sure that is a hugely broad subject.


00:07:35] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. So there's tantra and there's Neo tantra, which is tantric sex. So, traditionally classical tantra really had limited to do with sex.

[00:07:48] It was it was a spiritual path. It was something to move towards enlightenment. It was a whole lifestyle. Even. Parts of it would be similar to being a religious type thing. And then, but it was not focused on sex the way that we're used to hearing about tantra now. Neo tantra, which is more of a modern, it really has hardly anything to do with classical original tantra at all.

[00:08:17] So Neo tantra, tantra sex includes a lot of using your breath to have better sex, making different sounds. Like creating experiences in your body with your focus, that your your pleasure is expanding using the way that you just have this intimacy and connection with your partner to have help sex feel a lot better.

[00:08:40] It's slowing down. It's being really present all of that. So the way that I teach tantra, because I'm trained in both classical tantra and Neo tantra. So. Classical tantra definitely influences the way that I teach because classical tantra was very much focused on how to bring parts of you.

[00:09:04] Like. The taboo parts of society going into those parts, not being afraid of the taboo not being afraid of the darkness that's inside of you, that type of thing. So we all have our shadows. We all have parts of ourself that we're ashamed of, that we wish didn't exist, that we wish that no one knew about.

[00:09:23] And those actually hold us back. They disempower us to, to have that And so when I'm working with people and to train them in tantra, so much of what I do is I help them really embrace these shadow aspects of them to go into them directly and to claim their power back. And sexuality has been such a taboo part of society even today, where there's porn and, like sex all over the place.

[00:09:53] When it comes to individuals on a personal level, like normal people, there's still a lot of shame when it comes to sex. There's a lot of pain when it comes to sex. And so in a sense, I help. Help them liberate from that pain, from that shame, from the grief that they have the stuff that's holding them back from having really amazing sex.

[00:10:13] So it's a lot of healing work. It's a lot of getting to the root the basis. So that way you can move to the other side, into the bliss, into having incredible connection and intimacy with a woman you love.

[00:10:28] David Dowlen: Okay. Thank you for that. That's A lot to unpack all at once. I understand why that was such a complex question.

[00:10:37] I apologize for putting you on the spot. , you gotta work with me cuz I'm here with a Tantra for dummies right now. I'm you know, like I said, real, real limited understanding. I understand that there's some connection to a form of yoga. But, and I understand from talking to my friend that there are different schools of tantra.

[00:10:55] and he started like saying things like white tantra and blog tantra. And I don't understand what any of that means, but one of the things he talked about that he was interested in was the practice of semen retention and how some practices of tantra PR used do that. And some don't, he said your methodology, the way you teach in your classes don't whereas like his, how did he phrase it?

[00:11:21] His lineage did, does that, that, does that make sense to you? I apologize if it doesn.

[00:11:28] Sarrah Rose: Yeah, no, it definitely does. So semen retention, which would be non ejaculatory, orgasms, non ejaculatory sex is definitely something that I do teach men. How to do that. So you can have multiple orgasms, you can have full body orgasms.

[00:11:48] You can have orgasms just go on and on and on without having a refractory period because you didn't ejaculate. So orgasm and ejaculation are actually two separate phenomena. Orgasm happen. Been slightly before ejaculation does. And, but we've evolved and have evolved for them to occur almost simultaneously.

[00:12:08] So that way the orgasm is an incentive for ejaculation because ejaculation of course, is evolutionarily necessary for the survival of our species. When you, you learn how to separate the two, you can actually have the orgasm and not have the ejaculation. And then, but ejaculation is healthy. There's a lot of medical science around the health of a man and in ejaculating.

[00:12:35] So I don't ever encourage men to never ejaculate. But. It is nice to have the option and it's nice to be in control of ejaculation and choosing when and if you ejaculate. So for instance, a lot of guys they get to a point of no return when they're having sex and they just can't stop the ejaculation from happening.

[00:12:57] They come it's over sex is done. That's a typical heterosexual type of, sex experience. And so when you are, when you can stop your ejaculation sex can last, as long as you want, you have more control over your body. You're able to, Ejaculate because you want to, not because you're something took over and it was just beyond your control anymore.

[00:13:24] David Dowlen: You're gonna, you're gonna rock some worlds here with this kind of information, everything I know, which I'm sure is not a great deal in life. It's like, wait that the math doesn't add up on that somehow. Cuz that right. That's always what sex has been.You have sex. If you haven't organiz 'em and you come that's sex.

[00:13:43] So the idea of separating these things, and he was talking about that, it was like, that's a lot to wrap head around as a guy who's never heard of that concept before. So there's different disciplines and different ideals. And from what I under was reading on your website, you combined.

[00:14:05] Your understanding and teachings of tantra with some biology and just the way the world actually functions together to create your very own path of, Hey, this will help you. I was actually really interested cuz I saw that you said that this can help people with performance issues like ed premature, ejaculation, not enough coffee.

[00:14:26] Sorry. Can you expound on that a little bit, how this, can help men health wise?

[00:14:33] Sarrah Rose: Yes. So performance anxiety, the comes from several different things. Guys may have performance anxiety because of stress at work or stress in their relationships, stress from taking care of children or, other family members.

[00:14:51] But the main reason that men have performance anxiety is because of body image issues or they're worried about their penis size they're they have stress around pleasing their partner sexually. They don't have enough. Sexual confidence to know that they can perform in the bedroom. And so those are the areas that I am able to help.

[00:15:13] So sometimes erectile dysfunction is from, something medical, even those things, a lot of what shows up physically in the body has deep roots in our psychology and in our emotions. And so I'm working with people on that level, on the level of their psychology, the level of their emotions on their energy.

[00:15:34] So that way their physical body, the expression, and this physical reality is optimal. It's what they want it to be. If you, for instance, if a guy. For maybe he was really stressed out one day and he came super fast. Maybe the woman he was with had a bad reaction to it. And then he gets in his head about it.

[00:15:57] And like every time they have sex, now he is he's coming really fast. And now she's pissed and he's has no confidence. And so I work with them to, I work with men to. Them regain that confidence to be able to literally create an identity that they show up as when they're having sex.

[00:16:16] That is strong, as powerful as confident that it's the man that he wants to be when he is having sex. You know, and what I see the though with a lot of sexual dysfunction is it's, it comes back to something like, even from childhood. So for instance, if. A man has a belief about himself, that he is not worthy of love, which is a very, very common belief that most people have some part of them that they're not worthy of love.

[00:16:49] Then throughout his life, he's going to be. Doing things to prove that okay, because this is the belief that he has. And so if he's with a woman and he, on the subconscious level, he thinks I'm not worthy of her love. And he. Ejaculates quickly. She gets mad. Eventually their marriage dissolves. He's proven again that he's not worthy of love.

[00:17:19] So it's really, really important when looking at sexual function and sexual struggles to heal at the root. And this is what's missing in most places. Like most people, they give you some tip and trick to. Try and last longer, or, try and get hard. And none of it, it just doesn't last, right? Because it's surface level.

[00:17:47] David Dowlen: I don't think with some of the misconceptions on this channel, we talk a lot about some of the misconceptions about men and stuff like that. And the non right men are not emotional. Men are not right. We don't feel things. I think one of the more damaging things about the point in. is a lot of guys have major self esteem issues because they think that this is what they should look like.

[00:18:11] Whether it's size, whether it's stamina. And so then all it takes is one bad relationship to go compound. This belief we have about ourselves from this we're exposed to at a very early age, most of the. now you have one woman who was angry with their lover at some point or whatever who says something and they have no idea how long like deeply that sinks in.

[00:18:36] I know I, I had one of my early girlfriends just lash out one day after we had broken up. And I mean, that still sits sit to my subconscious today. People think the guys don't feel anything that there is you're I think you're right. There's absolutely a lot in the background, in the psyche that has major impacts on how we react to things, how we perform, how we feel about ourselves.

[00:18:58] So it's very cool that you're digging into that and helping your clients with that.

[00:19:03] Sarrah Rose: Yeah, and they become just so incredibly confident and it's amazing to see how their relationships change, how it helps them become better dads. They become more proficient at work. They start making more money, like just the sexual confidence impacts.

[00:19:20] Everything our whole life. It is. If you think about like sex is what we come from, it is what we're created from. And if we feel like we're lacking in that area of our life, it's almost like this lack from the source of our existence.

[00:19:38] David Dowlen: So how did you get here? I know this isn't what you always used to do.

[00:19:44] So I've seen you have programs for men, and we'll talk about that in a little. you have programs for women? It looks like as well. How did Sarrah end. Being in to coaching and doing this. Yeah.

[00:19:57] Sarrah Rose: So I got married very young. I was raised Christian, like fundamentalist Christian when it was very common in the community that I was part of for people to get married young and.

[00:20:10] So, I did, and I had two children, but the marriage, the relationship was never a healthy, happy marriage from the beginning. It just never was. And we ended up getting divorced and. I went to, I had already been doing yoga for a long time. And so I had that part of me. I had started doing personal development work and that was when I found tantra.

[00:20:38] And so I went to India and I got certified to be a teacher. I went back again actually, and got more certifications. My kids were little and they went with me, like took two nannies with me and they had this guide and they were like traveling all around India while I'm like sitting the Ashra doing my training. it's been a journey. But after coming back, I. Somebody, I was living in Austin at the time and he had the same guru that I did. We were in the same lineage. And so he and I started a relationship and we were together for two years and we were practicing tantra and having tantric sex.

[00:21:17] And I really got to go super deep and explore all of this. And then. When that relationship ended. And I was just back out there in the world of conventional performative sex and largely unconscious relationships. I was just like, wow, like something has to be done. And so that was when I took my business online, became an international company before that I was teaching locally in Austin.

[00:21:46] And so I was just determined that I was. Fix this problem, like I had just experienced something. Absolutely fucking incredible. And there was no way I was never gonna have that again. so I felt like if it was something I desired and something that changed my life and helped me heal from the inside out, then a lot of other people would desire that as

[00:22:09] David Dowlen: well.

[00:22:11] Seems like you found something, right? You found a calling for you. That's awesome. Guys we're spending some time getting to know Sarrah and trying to learn a little bit of the basics about Tora to understand before we, go down the rabbit hole. Cuz I know for me I definitely need a pretty decent little overview here to go.

[00:22:32] Okay. I, this makes a little more sense now. I still feel like I really don't have a good grasp on it, we're getting there and we're getting to hang out with you a little. Guys in the second half of the show, we're gonna dig in a little deeper into how Tora can apply to your life, how to get started in it and more.

[00:22:51] So guys, we're gonna roll our sponsor and we'll be right back with more from Sarrah.

[00:22:56] I'm calling on all men right now to stand up and stand against this horrific crime. It is estimated over 300,000 children are being sex trafficked in the United States alone every single day. I want you to get on your social media.

[00:23:10] I want you to follow or Both these charities are working to end child trafficking in the United States and abroad. You can donate at and buy our End Human trafficking merchandise. And all proceeds will be given indefinitely to

[00:23:36] You can also go to and donate directly to saving innocence men. It is time for us to fight and stop this horrible thing known as human trafficking guys.

[00:23:51] Welcome back. We're here with Sarrah Rose discussing tantra. What that is, what it can do for you and why maybe you.

[00:23:58] Pay a little attention guys in the first part of the show, Sarrah was giving us the ground level of this and guys, anything that happens,

[00:24:06] I'm only gonna give you so much and you're gonna have to go keep looking into it. Sarrah has an incredible website that I'll show you guys, actually, you know what?

[00:24:14] We'll just throw that up right now. At tantra. Let me give this up here. and. There is a lot of information guys, including links to her podcast links to her blog, her social media, but there is information directly about her program for men about her program for women. And so much you can dig into not to mention.

[00:24:40] Sarrah is a very lovely woman and there are some lovely pictures of you on the site. I don't know how planned that was. I'm sure it was, I'm not a marketing guy, but I jumped onto your site. I got the link initially from your publicist and I was at my nine to five job. I clicked on your website.

[00:24:55] I was like, I am not sure I should have clicked on this from work

[00:25:00] Sarrah Rose: it's actually like, we really tamed it down from where it was.

[00:25:03] David Dowlen: I worked with for a fairly uptight company. I was like, ah, the, it, department's gonna look at my history and be like, what were you looking at on your work computer? That's all.

[00:25:15] Hey,

[00:25:16] Sarrah Rose: It's all legit all for a good, cause. I mean, come on. If you're doing better in that part of your life, you're gonna be doing better at work. So just let em know Hey, this is to benefit you.

[00:25:26] David Dowlen: It will certainly get your attention guys. Yeah. It's a beautiful website by the way. But yeah, it will certainly get your attention and you can dig even more into what Sarrah's going, got going on there.

[00:25:37] She also has the tantric activation with Sarrah Rose podcast. I was listening to it this morning for the show. You have some gray stuff on there. I started following you on Instagram and just the nice little tidbit you throw out there. They just good information. Good little thoughts of it's like, oh, Hey, it's nice little feed bit throughout the day to help.

[00:25:56] So think you're putting out some great material.

[00:26:00] Sarrah Rose: Thank you. I work very, very hard on it, and it really matters to me that, I reach people and help. This is an area where so many people are suffering and it's just, it's an unnecessary suffering.

[00:26:14] David Dowlen: So Sarrah, to get us back rolling again, what purchase of a hundred dollars or less did you make in the last year?

[00:26:20] That's had the biggest impact on your life

[00:26:24] Sarrah Rose: hundred?

[00:26:25] David Dowlen: A.

[00:26:26] Sarrah Rose: Wow. You have some good questions that really stumped me.

[00:26:30] David Dowlen: stole that one from Tim Ferris to be fair.

[00:26:33] Sarrah Rose: Oh, yeah. Yeah. How quickly am I supposed to answer this? I'm like looking around I have expensive taste. I'm like nothing's under a hundred dollars. you know, I've

[00:26:41] David Dowlen: heard that before. I've had several people be like Dinner.

[00:26:44] Sarrah Rose: That's the, no, I live in New York city. Dinner's not under a hundred dollars. I took my son out the other night. It was like over 200 bucks. Like, wow. Just for dinners. Crazy. So expensive here. Oh my goodness. Oh, okay. I real, well, no, that wasn't under a hundred dollars.

[00:27:03] My nails, like get my nails done every week. Sarrah Rose red

[00:27:09] David Dowlen: your nails are part of your image, right?

[00:27:12] Sarrah Rose: They actually are. I've literally had this same nail polished the same color since 2017. Wow.

[00:27:22] David Dowlen: No, no varies varying

[00:27:24] Sarrah Rose: just every two weeks during the pandemic when I was not going to nail salon, they were natural nails.

[00:27:32] But other than that, every two weeks,

[00:27:35] David Dowlen: Hey when you're a brand on your own people don't understand. I laughed cause the first in one of the first interviews I ever did on the podcast, cuz I started as a solo podcast. I got towards the end of the interview and the guy was like, man, you got, this is a great persona look you got going on.

[00:27:54] And I'm like, look around. I, it took me like 10 minutes. I was like, oh, thank you. And I was just trying to finish up the podcast. Like I had to talk to my wife afterwards cause it's like, I don't know. And she was like, oh, he thinks this is a gimmick and it like, it took a bit to sink in it. No, this is just me.

[00:28:16] This is what I look like. My daughter's picked out the haircut cuz they all decided I can't shave my head anymore. I look too menacing with the shaved head. Apparently mm-hmm but I I mean, I've had my oldest daughter 10 years old. I've had a beard since, before she was born. But I've realized it's like, wait, I even kind of worked that into some of my branding and it's like, oh wait, now I'm kind of stuck this way.

[00:28:35] Right? This. Just me. So, you know, when you're, when you're the persona, right? You're the, you're the face that sells it. Right? I got

[00:28:45] Sarrah Rose: a friend. Well, I mean, I will say my boyfriend likes it too, so it's, also for him, it's not just a brand okay.

[00:28:52] David Dowlen: Never a bad thing when your boyfriend's good with it.

[00:28:55] Yes. I had a friend who modeled for Nike when she was younger and she said the contracts were insane. Like they couldn't change the brand and makeup. They used the color schemes. They used, she actually lost her job because she got pregnant without permission. Wow. I was like, whoa. She's like, no I am an item.

[00:29:13] Like I, this is bought and paid for. I was like, wow, this, that was my first real run in with like personal branding. And that was before I even understood what that meant. So now everybody's. Have a certain look or a certain way, especially when you're a public person.

[00:29:31] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just kind of do what I like, but ,

[00:29:36] David Dowlen: and here guys, next week it's gonna be blue just because you thought about it, this much is gonna be like blue, just because we focused on it too much.

[00:29:47] I know. Right? so Sarrah, I was listening to the latest episode of your podcast this morning. And it seems that there's a great deal more. And you talked about a little bit to tantra, and you said that Neo tantra, if I'm saying that correctly is specifically the more sex portion of it, listening to your podcast this morning it's okay, so this is much deeper thing.

[00:30:07] I'm sure that most of us go when we hear the word Tory, even without understanding it, we go to the sex portion. But you were talking about helping performance issues and about it helping at an emotional level. I know on your website, you said you worked with some pretty large scale business people making large figures.

[00:30:28] And I know that sometimes men in high power positions really struggle at a relational level because it, it takes a certain mentality. Run high level businesses and be the power CEO, especially the bigger the corporation. So you're putting the package together well, and I, this is gonna be a huge question I'm sure.

[00:30:50] We talked about elevator pitches earlier. Sell me right. If we're just having this conversation, you were trying to convince me this would change my life, sell me on tantra.

[00:31:04] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. Can I actually read you something? Yes. All right. So this was this morning. Actually in my men's group, one of the guys that I've worked with, put this in there, he says, I realized that and working on being the best version of myself in this program, which to me meant working on my sexuality and masculinity, I came face to face with the essence of who I was exposing, all my vulnerabilities.

[00:31:32] I learned to love who I am and that sex really does matter. When you experience sex beyond the procreative and physical to a highly spiritual metaphysical, mind blowing orgasmic flow of energy, you realize just how important it is. Just like exercising, being good at your job, finding your mission and life matters.

[00:31:51] It's time we saw sex is the truly sacred art that it is a deep meditation, a holy commun communion, and a dance with the force of creation, which that last part is a quote by Marcus Allen. But that first part, it was all for my client. He has a military background. He came to me with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation.

[00:32:12] He was recently divorced and had met a woman that he was madly in love with the love of his life. And she was about to leave him because of his lack of being able to connect with her intimately during sex. And he came to me and he said, Sarrah, please help. And he. He's incredible. I mean, you hear that. He went from her about to leave him.

[00:32:35] Now they're engaged, they're getting married this spring. He is such a joy. It has been one of the greatest privileges of my life to see his growth in this program and how he transformed everything. He's a mentor to the other men that come into the program now. And that's what is possible.

[00:32:53] David Dowlen: Being a YouTuber, I do a lot of, studying into that right into, marketing and social. And let's say social proof is everything right. That testimonial's huge. That's we are not encouraged to work on ourselves. As men, we are told to perform, we're told to provide, otherwise we have no value.

[00:33:18] But people joke about men stop improving at potty training, but there is a point where we're just told to go we're work horses go work, go work, go work. I've been amazed on my own journey with the fallible man. As I try to improve myself to grow how many other men aren't even thinking about that they're not encouraged to, they're not having those conversations.

[00:33:42] That's a huge testimony to what you're doing with the men. And I'm gonna cut right to this right now. So this is your man on fire program, is that correct? Yes.

[00:33:52] Sarrah Rose: That's correct. Go. Yeah. So, man on fire it's amazing. Like the men that come into that program are very courageous. They're men who are not only willing to work on themselves, but able to work on.

[00:34:09] Their sexuality and to move beyond the state of performative sex. And that is what is typical is, we see in porn, like you said, this performance based sex, that's very damaging to men. It's damaging to relationships is damaging to women. It creates this idea of something that is not realistic.

[00:34:31] And even if it was, nobody would want it because it doesn't feel good, We can all masturbate ourselves. We can all have orgasms ourselves. So we don't need someone else to do that. Why do we have sex for connection, for intimacy, for love to be seen, to be heard, to be felt by another. And you're not gonna get that.

[00:34:52] If you're just, pounding, making love is. We all want men and women and men, so often, like you said, they're not allowed to express that part of themself, that emotional side of themself, but it is, it's the part of us that deeply wants to be felt and seen

[00:35:13] David Dowlen: wow. Emotional connection.

[00:35:16] They don't teach that to men. It's we're just not even taught that that's part of sex. Sad. Most of us aren't taught anything about sex other than what we saw in a movie. So the idea of an emotional connection that we generally only associate with that's why women have sex. Men have sex, cuz men have sex.

[00:35:33] Women have sex to connect, is the bullshit that we're taught and that it's impressed upon us. So say I'm interested, but I'm. A hundred percent ready to try and jump into your program, right? I'm not quite there. Where do I go? What, what resources out there, you have your podcast, as we talked about.

[00:35:55] So guys, there's a place to start pan activation with Sarrah Rose podcast and you have social media, but how do I start this journey?

[00:36:05] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. You mentioned your friend that came to one of my free workshops. I have another free workshop coming up in a couple of weeks. I like for, to do those, so that way people can get a sense and to actually feel F.

[00:36:17] This in their own body, because so much of tantra is on the level of our energetics. And it's hard to understand from a mental intellectual level, it is something that you feel. And so I do these workshops from time to time, so that way you can feel it. And you know, cuz if you think about, we have the, these physical bodies that we live in, but what part of us is actually.

[00:36:43] Developed the mind, the mental body. And then typically the physical body actually comes second to that. Like we typically spend less time. Focused on working out and eating healthy than we do on, how much we're learning or how much we're working, how much we're using our mind.

[00:36:59] And then for men in particular, this emotional aspect of us comes third. There's not a whole lot of development around our emotions. And then last is the energetic state and. If you've ever had really incredible, really amazing sex, you didn't think your way through it. And it was even less around the physical acts that happened really great sex happens on the emotional level and it happens on the energetic level.

[00:37:33] And if those two parts of you are severely underdeveloped as they are in most people, not just men and most people, it's hard to have really amazing sex. And so a lot of what I do helps you develop those two parts of yourself. And when you, do you have experiences like I just read to you,

[00:37:56] David Dowlen: so I'm ready to start this journey, how do.

[00:37:58] How do you would recommend to the men you work with to breach this with their spouses, their partners.


00:38:06] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. And everyone's coming at this from a different place clearly. And because men have this expectation to be the ones that have a handle in the bedroom. It can be, something that they feel like they want to handle on their own and not talk to their partner about.

[00:38:21] And I get that. And, you know, it's like, guys, you gotta grow up. You really do. And it's important that you have difficult conversations with your partner. One of the things that I see a lot is, men they're very. It's hard for them to have conversations that are difficult, but because they're afraid that it might cause some pain, but you're already in pain, right?

[00:38:48] There's a reason why you're wanting to make change in your life. And being a man means you can handle this. Like you can handle a difficult conversation and it's gonna be okay, your, your personal development, your development of your masculinity, your development of a healthy relationship with your wife.

[00:39:09] it shouldn't be something that's like a big deal, right? Look, this is for us. This is something because you are important to me. Our relationship is important to me. Our sex life is important to me. It's not that you are not enough or I'm not enough. It's because I want this to be the best part of our life.

[00:39:30] It's that important?

[00:39:34] David Dowlen: I like, that's a good way to come at it. I think the value of us, right?

[00:39:44] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. And what example do you wanna leave your children? So many of the men that I work with, they have kids and, like what legacy do you wanna give your kids? Do you want them to have the legacy of two parents that adore each other and that have a vibrant, healthy relationship?

[00:40:02] Sex is a big part of that.

[00:40:04] David Dowlen: We we talked about that quite a bit on my channel is, your marriage or your relationship has to come first for your kids' sake. Your sons need to learn how to love a woman. Your daughters need to learn the expectation of how a man should love them and what that healthy relationship looks like.

[00:40:23] Because I got two daughter. There isn't a day that goes by that I didn't think about, am I showing them how that they should expect man, to treat them right in the way I treat their mother? That's something very important to me. It was just profound when someone was shared that thought with me a couple years ago, it's I you're setting the tone for what they should expect.

[00:40:46] Mm-hmm and I, my goal, my personal goal is actually how this all started for me. I wanna say that bar, so stupidly high, that they can't help, but find good men eventually. Yeah. Because they won't accept anything else. Yeah. So a lot of men come in and it sounds like they're trying to fix something, it sounds like this is almost a symptom of bigger holes. What do you see most commonly guys? Trying to patch up.

[00:41:18] Sarrah Rose: Yeah. And your wording on that is spot on, they come in, they're like, Sarrah, just tell me what to do to fix this. Men have this often have this idea that sex is going to fix things that, you know, if, if we just have sex and if the sex just works, it's gonna fix everything.

[00:41:40] And it's a. Big part of it, but it's only half of it. Your heart is the other half because it's in a man's nature to penetrate a woman to f*ck her, to just, have his penis inside of her. It's a woman's nature to be able to penetrate a man's. And so many men don't have that, the ability to open their heart, the ability to allow a woman to really penetrate them.

[00:42:11] And when that happens, a woman is just as stifled as is as much pain as you are when you are not getting sex. And it's both a lot of women, they. Start out in a relationship and open themselves up sexually to a man or receive him only to then shut down because they're not able to penetrate his heart and guys, this.

[00:42:40] Is your heart is something that we work on a lot where I actually guide you through practices to help you like break down the walls, break down the barriers there to be able to open up to her and that when you have that equilibrium, In the relationship that's when everything is flowing, that's when you're in a really healthy state of give and receive.

[00:43:04] And that's when you're both being filled up and you're both so powerful. You're living in your power from that state when there's an imbalance. That's when everything goes to shit in a relationship.

[00:43:17] David Dowlen: You've been featured in men's health, Vogue, Cosmo, the New York post. You have your podcast and your clients. What's next for Sarrah Rose,

[00:43:26] Sarrah Rose: writing a book and gonna have a show it's gonna happen. Yeah.

[00:43:31] David Dowlen: Yeah. Like TV TV. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That would be cool.

[00:43:35] Sarrah Rose: It'd be so much fun.

[00:43:39] David Dowlen: So where can people find you? What's the best ways,

[00:43:41] Sarrah Rose: If you go there, that will lead you everywhere else,

[00:43:48] David Dowlen: guys, as always, we will have all of her links, social media, the website down in the show notes and in description to make sure that you can find your way over to Sarrah. Check out her podcast.

[00:44:00] I, I really was enjoying the episode this morning that I was listening to, I think it's 88. It's your latest episode. Cool. This morning it was surprising. Like it, it honestly, wasn't what I totally expected. With my limited understanding of tantra. So that was a lot of fun to just listen to this morning and to try and get an idea it's like, huh?

[00:44:21] Maybe I really have no clue about this. Got. But it was really insightful. So I really enjoyed that this morning, guys, check that out, Sarrah, thank you for taking the time to hang out with us and to be on the show. Thank you for what you're doing for men. I am so grateful when I get to work with women who are advocating for men and trying to help us be the best versions of ourselves.

[00:44:45] So thank you for that.

[00:44:47] Sarrah Rose: Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

[00:44:50] David Dowlen: Guys, I hope you've learned something today. Seriously, dig into what Sarrah's talking about. We all have to work on ourselves every day. We're not complete only dead things. Stop, grow. So guys as always be better tomorrow because what you do today and we'll see on the next one, this has been the fallible man podcast, your home for everything, man, husband and father, be sure to subscribe.

[00:45:16] So you don't miss a show head over to for more content and get your own fallible man gear.

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