S02E33
[00:00:00] David Dowlen: If we were to watch your life as a movie, would it be interesting? I mean, we, we all kind of hope so. Well, my guest today has a story that's honestly more interesting than any Jerry Bruckheimer movie. One day, I imagine we'll probably end up seeing part of it on the silver screen. If he gets around enough, Aaron Young has lived a crazy story and he wants to help you in your life with what he's discovered on his journey.
[00:00:22] So let's get into it today. Be better tomorrow because of what you do today. Guys, welcome to the fallible man podcast. My name is Brent, and this is your home for all things, man, husband and father. And I'd like to welcome Aaron Young to the show
[00:00:39] Aaron Young: today. Thank you, my friend. It's a pleasure to be here. It's very humbling to hear that intro.
[00:00:46] You might be nervous. I've never, I'm not usually a nervous man. Sweaty Palm literally said, um, it's just cause it's humbling. So thank you very much for the intro. Almost pop the tea.
[00:00:56] David Dowlen: You're joining us say from Brisbane, Australia. Is that correct? Yeah, that's correct. Yeah. Okay. So for reference, for all of us who don't know the real world, we're aware real well, where is Brisbane in Australia?
[00:01:07] Aaron Young: Okay. So basically I'm on the east coast of the country of Australia and I'm up towards the Northern side of that east coast. So I live on a place called the sunshine coast and it literally is because it's sunny all the time, all year, and I'm not robbing Indian guys. And I'm 30 minutes from the beach heaven on earth.
[00:01:25] Very grateful for it, too
[00:01:28] David Dowlen: great chance to do some research and look at some of the stuff you put out. I looked at your YouTube channel and found that today, uh, looking for some of your videos and I read the incredible story on, uh, the app. We used to meet up and set up this interview, but I'm a horrible podcast.
[00:01:46] I just, because I don't think that really actually introduces people. I can read off credentials all day. Listeners are like, so tell our listeners who is Aaron Young in your own words, who do they,
[00:02:04] Aaron Young: oh, wow. You know why? Because I've been trying to write this, you know, I'm trying to do this PR thing and this media thing, which I'm just not a very good self promoter and you try to write my life into a condensed version. I'm going to use some terms here, which I'm not really comfortable with, but I think somewhat so myself, I'm a survivor of early childhood trauma at the hands of my mother and an abductor, I then went on to turn these experiences into a lot of fear and anger, which I think many men turn fear into anger.
[00:02:33] If they've been through a situation like that, then turn criminal, then turn drug addict, then cleaned up into drug drug addict again, then learn, that my, my biggest addiction was relationships. And actually not drugs or alcohol, but then I turned Explorer and then I left Australia 2004, you know, and I traveled the world middle east and Africa, became a conservationist purely by accident.
[00:02:57] I'm an elephant and lion behavior specialist. I'm a farmer, which is another new one. You could throw it in there as well. So what are we up? We've got criminal conservationist. And as we know, in the end, after farming, I became a fugitive. So firstly, I was chased by authorities. Then I did two prison stints in Africa, two separate prison.
[00:03:17] Stints jumped borders illegally, in between two countries to see my kids. Yeah. And now, I'd say I'm a life coach or a mentor or not really comfortable with that phrase. I'm a guy who turns all that stuff into gold for others. I want to inspire action in people's lives. I'm a little bit tired of seeing a lot of it.
[00:03:37] The books and the, and the podcast that basically talk, and encourage us to talk. And what my idea of this is, no, I want you to get up off your ass. I want you to listen to something and go, you know what? I'm inspired to take action because in my life, that was when I took action. That the things that the things changed,
[00:03:55] David Dowlen: all right, well, that actually got into more of your story, but I was looking for who are you like?
[00:04:02] I mean, you're Aaron Young, right? Who is Aaron Young, your everybody's a product of their experiences. I mean, we definitely are, but today, who are you? Why, why do we, should people listen to you? You have an incredible story. What makes you, you,
[00:04:24] Aaron Young: geez, you put me on the spot. This is where I'm not very, cause I'm not very good at this.
[00:04:28] This is where you asked me to look and really talk about what I value in myself. And what I value is, I'm an incredibly courageous and humble person who was gifted with an incredible set of life experiences that I turned into the positive. So everything I just rambled off, that was a little brief expedite on my life.
[00:04:50] I can stand up and talk to you about the benefit that every single one of those experiences gave me. And I turned the hopeless in dope. That is what I do. And I do that because I've been into those situations and I felt the hopelessness and I know the waste through it.
[00:05:07] David Dowlen: So you're in trouble. Cause I watched some YouTube videos earlier.
[00:05:11] I was watching the review on a weekend. You did with older gentlemen, from Northern Australia, talking about making them go in on themselves actually. And so now I know you're capable of it. So I. Yeah. Cause I
[00:05:25] Aaron Young: know you can do it. Yeah. And it is. And I'm glad that it's what I need to do more of. Because as I said to you, I'm very blessed I about my life and I need to stop doing that because if one thing adversity and challenge has taught me is that once I serve others with it, it becomes a life that is a thousand fold.
[00:05:44] And I become a messenger, not through ego, but through sheer presence. And I think that's what we're here for many of us. I mean, I know that's why you're here. That's what you're doing. And I'm still learning how to do that via things like questions like that, where you put me on my ass and throw me off a little bit.
[00:05:59] Good. And I'm glad I need it.
[00:06:02] David Dowlen: I didn't understand the reference to NTD at four
[00:06:07] Aaron Young: NDE, need to experience
[00:06:09] David Dowlen: near-death is experiance and then kidnapped at
[00:06:12] Aaron Young: five. Yeah.
[00:06:15] David Dowlen: And then when you even made a comment about, it was a great thing that happened to
[00:06:19] Aaron Young: you. Yeah, it was, and, and this is what I do with experiences like this.
[00:06:24] So I need that experience in a nutshell was, my mother was an addict suffers from some pretty severe mental health issues. She had me very young at around 18 and probably the worst time in her life. I cried a lot. So I watch her in her words. She basically shook me till I stopped and then threw me on a bed and left me.
[00:06:42] She didn't come back for about three days. So I remember coming through, out of that. I don't remember the shaking, obviously. I don't think many kids at four member sort of succinct depth to that, but I remember coming to them being hungry for, for those three days. So that's my first, first early memory.
[00:06:56] The abduction was a local, a local kidney area. I lived in the heroin capital of Australia. Sadly. It was pretty rough neighborhood who tried to molest me, abducted me, dragged me off into the Bush, tried to molest me, didn't realize what he got himself into. And I fought like a cat, so that didn't happen. But he left me in the Bush until that late that evening.
[00:07:14] Came back in and threatened to kill me and kill my family. I've ever told anyone. So the power in both of those experiences now at 47 is in how I see and perceive the world around me and perceive other people for much of my life though, understand it was a big negative because I was hypervigilant. I was a mind reader.
[00:07:34] I was always looking to see hidden purpose in everyone's words and everyone's meaning their body language. I was always reading. So as you can imagine, when it came to people that kicked me distant, but when it came to the work I did in some of the jobs and some of the career choices, it was incredible because I was 10 times your average gone, but it was certainly not a healthy way to live my life.
[00:07:55] Now I'm able to use my perspective. I see the world, which is that I see the beauty in every single situation because when you see death or when you experience the face of it very early, you take every moment as shit.
[00:08:13] David Dowlen: So fast forward so years, right? You said life of crime in your teens and drugs, and then you ended up in Africa, right?
[00:08:23] And South Africa, you said you started, and then you moved up to Zimbabwe. Is that correct? And somehow became an accidental conservation. So we'll get to that in a minute. And in Africa you went from conservationalist to farmer, to criminal because you weren't willing to play the crop game there with the government.
[00:08:45] And you went through the Zimbabwe jail twice, some prison there twice. Yeah. As the only white man in the country are in the prison and the country, that country at the time with a corrupt system, trying to set you up to all, they finally ended up having to drive you from the country. Yeah. And your children are still there.
[00:09:13] Seriously, man, your life is a movie it's, it's incredible, but you have this drive to help people with those experiences. And so
[00:09:26] Aaron Young: yeah, you look, you can't allow the stories or the things that happened to you to drive your life. So I can't take the early needeth, the abduction. I can't take all these experiences and wear them as a blanket to become a victim because then I become a dysfunctional member of society and God knows we've got enough of that already by embracing the situations, by being able to perceive them and see the positives in them.
[00:09:53] I become connected to the world around me and I'm able to actually look at people in a sincere way and understand how they feeling and what it is that they need to overcome their own stuff. So it doesn't matter whether it's a prison study. It doesn't matter whether you got smacked as a child, or whether you had a teacher that treated you poorly.
[00:10:08] It's not the volume or the height of the story that matters. It's how you look at it and how you use it. And so for me, my biggest motivation now is to show people that in hopelessness is a fallacy. This is a mental concept. You know, hope is basically how you think, knowing if you're breathing there is always hope.
[00:10:31] And what I think has happened is we've tend to come to a point in our existence where, um, we give up hope very easily. And I'm the guy who steps in and remind you that you're in control of your life. And it's the actions that you take today that as we know, you know, because what you do today, just looking, you just caught back on and I've got, you know, tomorrow because of what you did today.
[00:10:55] And the truth is, is w whether you stay at your center to my son's, he's actually the truth. I've got a birth. The states, I'm a walking example of what is possible, no matter what is thrown at you, how dare I not use it?
[00:11:11] David Dowlen: Have you considered like, you know, writing your life into a script and selling the movie rights,
[00:11:17] Aaron Young: man, you know how many times I've been honest and how many authors have tried to come and get me to write a book?
[00:11:21] And you know, like I said, I'm not a self-promoter and it's something that these podcasts I'm hoping will teach me to understand my story better, because I think just in Africa is probably as a movie and a story. I just need to learn how to see it in that way. Because again, I'm just, humility is my greatest strength, but also one of my greatest weakness,
[00:11:40] David Dowlen: but I like marketing is a big weak point for me.
[00:11:45] I'm horrible at marketing my podcast because, in JK Rowling said it really well in the Harry Potter series where they're like but Harry your a wizard and he's like, I can't be a wizard. I'm just Harry. Right. I mean, I had this mentality about it myself. I was like, but I'm just me, right? Um, no, I was just thinking I've seen some movies with much lamer plot lines, so, yeah.
[00:12:14] And, that, that might help your movement with some of the stuff you're trying to do. Right. Added
[00:12:18] Aaron Young: funds for me, it would, because the truth is I'm on a mission now to really understand and visit, I guess men's mental health. I mean, it was mental health for all people, but what I started to realize is that my story probably relates more to physical challenge in, in, in sort of the perspective of your average mile than it does to your average woman.
[00:12:38] I translate men for women, but in my actions and my life, I probably work better with men. And, you know, I think the idea of looking at what we're doing with the mental health system, which is basically just , prescribing and prescribing in the face of this pandemic, It needs to be questioned. And I think it's people who've lived and challenged adversity really got their hands dirty who has the right to stand up and say, well, hang on a second.
[00:13:02] I can tell you that any depressants are the long-term fix. And beta blockers are not the longterm shore. If they stop the cycle. Great. But at some point we need to type back ownership of our mental health. You can't dial them on and expect to grow. It will keep you stuck and stable, but, um, it won't allow you to grow.
[00:13:25] And what is our journey here for we heated repeat the same day over and over again, or are we here to launch ourselves every day into the prospect of learning something new growing? And as you are a better dad, but a partner, but a businessman, but a man, or, you know, if the case might be better, That's how I am.
[00:13:46] That's why I wake up in the morning. And if I carry all of this experience as a blanket around my decision, poor me, I'm a victim. Then I am now pouring negative energy out into the world. Everywhere I go touch everyone with
[00:13:59] David Dowlen: that. We have far, far too many victims. I'm not sure how we got into this victim hood mindset.
[00:14:04] It seems to be a rate raise these days. I'm going to ask you so you've traveled extensively. I didn't see much in your, uh, information about your time in the middle east, but you've traveled extensively compared to most people.
[00:14:20] Aaron Young: Yeah. Yeah. I spent most of my younger years in Asia, so Thailand, also south Pacific and Fiji Kiribati, Tama, and, um, Laos and then Cambodia and then, you know, the middle east as well for a few years.
[00:14:33] And then most of Southern Africa. Yeah.
[00:14:36] David Dowlen: So with all the world travels, I've got to ask, I I'm a foodie. What is the most interesting thing you've gotten to eat in all your travels?
[00:14:44] Aaron Young: Oh, well, can I be honest about this? the most interesting and sort of the most horrifying at the same time probably was lying, eating lawn.
[00:14:54] Yeah. I mean, for a short time, I worked in a hunting camp in Madison beacon, and a client should align. And in a hunting camp in Africa, you tend to have many different tribal backgrounds. Some of them will eat certain meats, some somewhat, and one of the guys I lawn and he bought it to me and said, do you want to try it?
[00:15:09] And I was like, no, I don't really want to, but I did. So it's probably the strangest zebra would be another one. That's an interesting one, giraffe. Like I said, I'm not, I'm not very comfortable sharing that because if I look back at, I mean, turn me into a conservationist at work, but when I look back on it, it doesn't make me comfortable to say like those animals, but it's the truth.
[00:15:31] David Dowlen: People want to, it's amazing how many people want to get away from the darker moments and their history. And just, I met so many who were like, oh, you know, I regret that time. Or if I could go back and change, I wouldn't change anything. I have made my share of mistakes and I have some parts of my past.
[00:15:51] I'm not real comfortable with, but at the same time, all those moments contribute to who
[00:16:00] Aaron Young: you are now. Yes. You know, you just might, we might've good point concert. We both saying it. And then there's a really good word to hone in on here quickly because when you're uncomfortable Your, you have, you're being gifted and opportunity to learn when you're comfortable.
[00:16:14] Not a lot. grows there, you have easy, it's easy to get up at conference call because you've got everything you want. And you can repeat that same day in comfort forever. When you're uncomfortable. If you look back at your life, that was when you took, you hit the T junction and you went shit I'm going go left this time.
[00:16:31] I'm not going to go back into that so uncomfortable. It was good. And it's one of the things I teach, man. You know, I take him in the Bush and all broken in all of the lifestyle for them and I'll push them because in that discomfort, men start to see that primal side of them and understand how powerful they truly are.
[00:16:47] It doesn't matter whether you're tall, skinny, short, big, muscly guy. It doesn't matter. Power comes from it. And he says, that's econ in your chest. Doesn't come from in your muscles.
[00:16:58] David Dowlen: Well, we all are a product of the experiences. Good and bad, but they all contribute equally. And so if you start to, you know, I don't have to like everything I've chosen to do.
[00:17:09] You don't have to like everything you've chosen over your life, but it's brought you to where you are today and the person you are and the person you're trying to be. And so people like, uh, I don't know, it's, it's, it's part of the whole package because if you made one choice. You could be an entirely different person than who you
[00:17:28] Aaron Young: are today and you don't have to be proud of it, but you can't design.
[00:17:32] You cannot design it. And this is why, like, I'll say it I'm uncomfortable in saying that I did it. But when you asked me the question, the truth is that was the strangest things I've ever eaten and now I'm not comfortable, but then like you rightly pointed out, I wouldn't be sitting here right now doing this podcast.
[00:17:46] I wouldn't have these beautiful children, Al not with me. I wouldn't have this beautiful partner. I wouldn't be living in this beautiful part of the world during what is one of the craziest times in our history. Right. You know what I mean? I'd be, I'd be in a country where people were still dying in the hundreds every day, you know, so, and I'm able to set something up and I'm also able to do what I'm doing here, which is offer my experience to other people, to hop, to give them some hope or to rattle them and have them think twice about that.
[00:18:13] Ease and comfort, you know, step into it. It's a little dangerous.
[00:18:17] David Dowlen: So how do you accidentally. Start working in elephant lion conservation, just
[00:18:29] you
[00:18:29] Aaron Young: stumble into, well, I do stumble. This is the thing, or I stumble or I'm creative. I'm not quite sure the magic trick to how I create the things I do. But, so I was hunting in Mozambique by accident. I went to do a farming project in Mozambique that failed. And so I ended up in a hunting camp. So I ran this hunting camp for a while and I was quite in love with the idea of, you know, olden days hunting and these, you know, explorers running across Africa.
[00:18:54] And what I quickly realized is that hunting in modern Africa is pretty much also a slaughter attitude is kill it before someone else does. And so what I was introduced to was this idea that there needed to be a stronger voice for conservation. One that wasn't attached to government and wasn't attached to big NGO, which is the nonprofit not-for-profit guys.
[00:19:17] I ran into a gentleman in his seventies who used to be a national parks and wildlife officer in the Zimbabwe government. He was one of the last, a white gentleman to leave government service. He trained me to be a tracker. He trained me to do, uh, gain capture. So this was game capture, restocking national parks.
[00:19:32] I learned how to, you know, mobilize treat animals when I was sick and move them to different countries, cross border. And that became my day-to-day. What happened was as I got closer and closer to these animals, I started to see their applied and I got involved with the relocation of eight young elephant to China from Zimbabwe by accident.
[00:19:52] Wasn't something I was involved with the organization of, but I was at the tail end of the logistics of it. And I saw these animals being shipped off and it broke my heart and changed my idea and concept of what was happening in Africa with wildlife completely. I woke up three months later and decided to start saving animals.
[00:20:10] So I heard stories of animals being shot under PAC rulings, which is a problem animal control ruling in Northern Zimbabwe. So I took the authorities to task and went to war with them and said, you can't continue to do this. I'm going to come up there. And I'm going to find a way to teach these animals to stay away from town.
[00:20:27] If I can keep them out of the towns, will you stop shooting them? And I said, Jeff, sure, good luck with that. So we invented some systems to teach these elephants to stop. They're all migratory routes. Stop coming into the town because if you enter this town, you did. So we invented a chili resin and homemade PVC, plastic guns, and we chased the elephants around the town, shooting them with incredibly potent chili resin, which stuck to their skin and taught them not to come through town.
[00:20:52] And we were incredibly successful. And that's now used through about four or five different African countries. Then just blacks. What was happening as lions were being shot, the frightened center, because as soon as the lion kills cattle in Africa, it's considered a nuisance and a problem. So instead of them being shot again, I stepped in and said, guys, let's, let's move them.
[00:21:10] So I worked with teams of vets and we would literally go in trap them or mobilize them, bite them. So put a bite up and bring them in and then mobilize them and move them to a new location to try and save them from being destroyed. So, you know, I don't have any background in any of this. I literally on the job training, it was and taking advantage of opportunities.
[00:21:31] I almost said, do you want to do this? And I, I never said no,
[00:21:35] David Dowlen: that's, that's incredible. One of those things, just like how, you know, you included some, pictures on your profile. And for the YouTube version of this, I'll add some of those in, uh, for our viewing audience where they can see that too. You have some great shots, rescue animals looked like you were transporting the lion and one of them and, working on an elephant, they got caught in a snare and another one, which
[00:22:01] Aaron Young: is just, and it sounds it's beautiful and this beautiful stories there's done.
[00:22:06] And there's tons of footage as well. I showed a lot of at sky news and there's quite a few internet radio shows in the states that picked it all up. And it was all in this idea of giving these animals a voice, but also educating, without throwing mud on any of the other not-for-profit organizations in the world, it's become an industry.
[00:22:23] And I started to see the damage that was doing to the cause in money, instead of it going to actually operations and helping these animals in the field or educating the locals to stop wanting to kill them. It was going into fleet to brand new vehicles. You know, radio towers, a bunch of shiny looking stuff, but there was no actual work being done.
[00:22:41] And, you know, I like to be a Crusader. So, you know, it was just one of those things that I took on board. And I just, I wanted to inspire my children at this point too, though, incredibly young. And I wanted them to be inspired by my actions, not by my words, which is as soon as I was a father and a parent, this was the first thing I wanted to give them coming from my background.
[00:22:59] My idea was, you can't tell, I can't tell them what to do, but I can certainly show them because kids don't learn by what we say. They learn by what we do.
[00:23:09] David Dowlen: Aaron, you've had a lot of experiences to draw from including some really rough events in your life. When we touch on those, the first part of the show, things that would crush most people because we live in society where victimhood is not only becoming more normal, but it's championed it's.
[00:23:27] I don't know why we're encouraging this behavior, but most people would crumble over just one or two of the things. I mean, being jailed in a foreign nation, being kidnapped your, your life has just been one event after another. How do you develop the fortitude to be strong enough to be stronger than the situation you were faced with?
[00:23:53] Aaron Young: You know, it's an, it's a beautiful question and it changes. So, I'll answer it from like post kids because it did change because prior to that, I was motivated by survival and this is anyone who's faced early childhood or trauma will know you get wired and built to survive. And so those situations that, which we so-called crush other people for me, or almost part of my adrenaline addiction.
[00:24:19] And then it sounds crazy, but this is the whole idea that you attract and create what it is that you want. And because of those early childhood experiences, I think early on in life, this is what I was, was absorbing and bringing towards me. Once I had kids, though, that completely changed. You know, I decided to drop the selfishness and that was the life-changing moment for me up until I had children.
[00:24:42] I didn't have any responsibility towards anyone. And I kept people at enough of a distance that I never really owed them anything. So I was able to continue to move as I needed to. And as long as I stayed heart-centered or compassionate and kind, I felt it was okay to keep moving. Once I have my kids though, I dropped this officious and I was forced to have a good, hard look at myself.
[00:25:02] And what I've done is in a very corrupt way. I'd taken those childhood experiences and I'd used them to propel myself and I'd created an immense amount of positivity, but the corrupt side of it was that it actually used them as a negative fuel inside me to be incredibly selfish, keep the water at a distance and to just motivate me towards a never-ending series of explorations, adventures and exams.
[00:25:26] Oh, once you have children, you, you can't live like that. For many reasons. If you continue to, you're basically gonna produce children who follow in your footsteps. But for me, what was most important was that I was now an example. Let's just talk. My daughter was the turning point from my daughter was born.
[00:25:44] I was the man. She was going to look for later in life. If you stop and you sink that in and I'm addressing men here, but this is could be my little female. This isn't about just being a man. I was the example that she was going to look up to. So it was very easy for me to look at all the situations that I was going through.
[00:26:04] And even the ones from the past in a very different light. Now I've got that choice. Do you want to silently be that victim? Do you want to fuel yourself with these negative energies and drive yourself forward and show your kids that that's the way to live? Or do you want to stop dead still, you know, turn around and look back and go through each one of those.
[00:26:26] And learn to understand the positives and the benefits. What's the positive to my mother, doing what she did four years old. I respect life in a heavy way. And when I look at a child, the stand, how precious every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day is to a child's early development because I did it.
[00:26:46] I was robbed of that. What did I get as a benefit from being abducted at the age of five, I can connect with anyone with any story of trauma and look them in the eye inside and out. No, that's not a benefit for me helping others in the world. I don't know what it is because when you can truly empathize and connect with someone through empathy you can truly help them.
[00:27:09] If you try and do someone from a place of book learning, or I read once about trauma softwares, and I can tell you, this is what happens. You're not going to get very far. I can deal with these people from a place of understand. What is the benefits to me being a drug addict tomorrow? Well, once again, empathy, and also one thing drugs and alcohol will teach you is when your knees are about to hit the floor and when you're on the bones of your ass and you've got absolutely nothing to look forward to, there is only one choice and that is to move forward and up.
[00:27:41] Yeah. Or slowly decay in Dawn. So for me, I can turn every single one of these experiences into gold. You know, that, that's my inspiration and that's my offering to the world now. And it's something that I'll wake up every single day, learning how to do better is the reason I do these podcasts. And so reasons I'll connect with anyone at any point, because I believe I was blessed with the life of had so that I can offer a sense of understanding for people who feel alone.
[00:28:11] David Dowlen: Guys, I want wanna, I wanna dwell down on, on something he's saying right here, and that is perspective, right? I asked about fortitude. How do you choose to survive? And he chose to have the strength to survive because he gained perspective on the situation and perspective is something I talked about a lot on my channel, but perspective is the difference between I'm a victim or now I can help somebody I'm a failure or success.
[00:28:42] This didn't work, or this did work, right? I mean, there's a famous quote. I didn't find, I didn't feel a thousand times we found a thousand ways not to make a light bulb, right. Edison Thomas. And if it's perspective, anybody else might've said, man, it failed. I failed. And I failed and I had a bad experience.
[00:29:06] I had an unpleasant experience. I had an uncomfortable experience. And instead of letting it break you, you had enough perspective to say. It can make me stronger. It can make me smarter. It can make me more capable to help people more capable to help other lives. And a lot of people who have trauma tend to want to focus inward and be like, well, I need help.
[00:29:34] I need help. And I said, you went, I can help others. I can offer other people comfort and understanding because of this and that. That's an incredible,
[00:29:47] Aaron Young: yeah. The victim, the victim is so selfish and this is why I believe we live in a, in a crumbling society. And I think it's why we becoming more and more disconnected.
[00:29:54] I believe it's why we rely on screened TV, evasion techniques, whether it's gym, drugs, alcohol relationships, whatever it is is because of that. Very reason. Uh, I think we're just trying to find a way to disconnect and be more and more selfish. And I think that this is what we need more. Community leadership is people standing up and being selfless and having this idea that my life is to serve and give back because as, as a man, and I'm just speaking for my selfie, that's the ultimate gift is to be able to stand, stand peacefully and sustainably with men around me in this community here and offer them a safe place that they can go back and look at their trauma.
[00:30:35] And remember trauma, as you just pointed out beautifully is about perspective. Someone can watch their dog get hit as a boy, someone can get abused and it can be the same reaction in their body. All right, this is not about, who's got the biggest burns trauma doesn't work like that. Everybody is different.
[00:30:52] You know, I use glasses as perspective as a set of glasses. Now, another thing I want to quickly touch on, you can take those glasses off at any time. Put another set on perspective is ever changing, just because you've got a perspective now that you were a victim and that it feels hopeless and you're lost in 30, 60, 90 days.
[00:31:11] You can flip that and you can re look at each one of those experiences and actually have them standing exactly like mine do there. Isn't it, isn't a case of it's a dating and you listen to us talk and it's like, oh yeah, this all sounds great, but I can't do that. I'm 45. Now it's too far. I'll be doing this on 47.
[00:31:29] I only started really working this shit out when I was 40. Yeah. So there is never too late, never, ever too late. And the work and the things we do are simple, but you've just got to be prepared to, you know, as Brent said alter your perspective, take the glasses off
[00:31:48] David Dowlen: and you, and you brought up the point perfectly, right?
[00:31:50] You said a lot of things changed when you became a father, right? The old reasons didn't work. The old perspectives didn't work. That is something it's an incredibly humbling experience when you become a parent, because it alters your perception of reality forever. No, I actually make you, you said that I make a t-shirt.
[00:32:12] I told you we were talking before the show started that know one of the things I do is make t-shirts this one, the one you're wearing. I have one that says a memento Mori, right? The famous phrase, it says, but under it says, live your life at such that your sons want to be you and your daughters will accept nothing less than you.
[00:32:34] Aaron Young: It is. And man said, she was for me, I can't believe anything true. I like, for me, it's even more pertinent because my kids are stuck back in Africa. You know, when I had to leave at gunpoint, when they deported me, I wait to these sorts of sayings, you know, because I'm literally being forced, fortunately separated from those two children.
[00:32:54] And I don't get to be that daily father, like, like to, so I send them videos every day. And I talk about the basics that I can at a young age about these sorts of things, because, um, that, you know, that's probably my last hurdle in life that weighs on. Is how to be, I want to say the ultimate parent because we're, we're not perfect.
[00:33:13] You'd no human is perfect, but I want to be the best damn version I can write for them. And then ultimately what I've learned over time is that needs to be for me as well.
[00:33:25] David Dowlen: This podcast was born out of that realization. I wrote a blog and I think I even did it as a podcast at one point called don't.
[00:33:32] You want to be Superman? My goal in life as a father is to set the bar so high that my daughters will voluntarily not settle for subpar men. I want to set that bar just so stinking high that anybody they bring home has gotta
[00:33:50] Aaron Young: be halfway through. Yeah, no. And I agree with you and what have you, and you know, some people would sit there.
[00:33:55] Oh, you can't eat. Yes, you can do that. That is the why he, because how we lead by example is how we affect the world around us, not how we talk. So you can tell your daughter don't, you know, don't go with a guy that does this and don't do that. That's not the way it works. She's going to look at you and you've on the surface.
[00:34:11] You pretend to be something and then behind closed doors or something else also understand that children see the world very differently and you cannot pull the wool over their eyes. They live in a world that is driven by energy and connection. Something that we've forgotten as adults. If you think that you're hiding something from your children, you better think again very quickly because you are not hiding a single thing.
[00:34:31] If you're pretending if you're lying, they know, and what you're teaching them is that pretending and lying is the same. It's like for me, one of my greatest challenges is like we're talking about self-worth and this idea of my personal value are very much keen to give and share my life and my experiences constantly, but I need to come back to myself and my own value at time, because I could be teaching my children to be people pleases, because if I teach them to give, without giving to myself, that's a very dangerous place.
[00:35:01] We have to, they have to see us giving to ourselves, otherwise, when are they going to stop to give to themselves? So there's this beautiful, you know, opening and, and unraveling of what parenting is for me. And, you know, for me, I think it's the greatest journey we get blessed with. I think being a parent, but I also think it's can be the toughest to learn because your children will face you with your greatest, you know, your greatest failures will pop up in their little faces that point, and you'll be faced with when you yell at a child, usually yelling at yourself, you know, that this is the thing and they are our greatest teachers.
[00:35:34] You said it before. And it's one of the most, it shows me a true man when he says something along those lines. When, you know, when a man is prepared to say, my child is my greatest teacher, I know I'm dealing with a man of charecter.
[00:35:50] David Dowlen: And, uh, I can't even give where the old cliche is of telling my children, stay away from guys with tattoos, piercings and motorcycles cause that's me so random question in the last year, what purchase under a hundred dollars has the most positive impact on your life.
[00:36:10] Aaron Young: Wow. That's the best quizzes have been. I was going to say my headphones so I could do these podcasts. It probably would be because before that my audio Jack on my laptop would work. It probably would be that because I'm honestly learning so much from these interactions with people. And like, you talked about perspective the best way we can ever learn about our lives and how that can impact others, but also how they're driving our own decision-making is by speaking to people like you to doing what we're doing, right.
[00:36:42] The more, we unfilter the head and let it just pour out the mouth. The more we learn about what's truly driving us. So yeah, I'm going to say my headphones with the microphone, not very exciting,
[00:36:56] David Dowlen: you know, Hey, I, I asked one guest and he, uh, referenced a book that he read and you know what it's, that that's as part of our perspectives, right?
[00:37:05] You find what has value to you as you start to weed through life's like what, what actually brings more value to my life. And that, that is so personal from person to person. So that's a perfectly legitimate answer. In our correspondence, you referred to that we're choosing to carry too much generational, a societal junk.
[00:37:28] Do you want to expand on that some?
[00:37:29] Aaron Young: Yeah, it's funny. I meditated this morning and ancestral trauma came up the word and I don't go into it too much because people get a little bit shy of this. You know, when you say ancestral trauma, they go, oh, what are you talking about? They get really a bit off. And I was a bit like that myself until I realized what happened is, you know, we're born of two people, mom and a dad.
[00:37:54] If mom and dad, as we've just been talking about, aren't the best examples. Just, just for one of going early into the S to the negative, they teach us a series of behaviors and beliefs that we then continue on. Then producers, children who then continue on again, but each generation, and that does that stacks more of their junk on top.
[00:38:16] And sometimes we need to get to a point where we actually stop and say, what am I why caring? It's not just mine from my life experience, but what am I counting of my mum? And. And what were they carrying of their mom and dads, because we need to understand that generationally, we know more about parenting than we ever have in our existence.
[00:38:36] Our moms and dads, weren't bad people. My mom's not a bad person. My mom's mentally ill and it's got some issues that she needs to deal with. She's not a bad person. She did the best she could. She suffered from heavy trauma when she was young. Now my Nana, her mother, she suffered the same. So the idea of ancestral trauma or ancestral junk is that we take ownership at a point in our lives where we say, what am I carrying that I'm going to pass forward to the next generation, my next, the next bloodline, that isn't just mine, that it could be being passed down from parent, from grandparents, from great-grandparents.
[00:39:12] And I'm all going to own this moment enough to deal with it. And am I going to heal it by talking to those people? If they're still alive, Talk to mom and dad about these things. Talk to grandparents about these things, because all it really becomes about for me, it's just this moment of actually stopping and looking at children and saying, do I want them to carry this?
[00:39:31] Am I prepared to be honest enough about the things that I do? Because it's not about the things you say, it's about the things that you do. Am I going to be honest enough about those behaviors and face them? Am I going to be prepaid to change? And it takes a hell of a lot of courage, um, and it takes it a hell of a lot of fortitude to then step into that action every day.
[00:39:54] You know, everyone's action steps are different. You develop them based on the person's personality, but it's an everyday thing. And you know, the older I get, the more I realize if I don't work that muscle. So for me, it's not gym, it's breath work. It's meditation. It's, you know, moving the physical body.
[00:40:10] It's taking time to actually look after myself, but don't do that. I'm going to pass on to my Georgia. The fact that it's all right to give, give, give, give, give, give, give, and never actually look after myself. I don't want my kids to be people pleasers. I don't want people to take advantage of them. No, these are the sorts of examples I use because we've got the, we've got those, you know, those in it.
[00:40:34] David Dowlen: I recently heard a quote that was just phenomenal and it was, if it was easy, what would this look like? And it's just an incredible idea of approaching, you know, life and decluttering and T complicating it and just going back to simplicity.
[00:40:54] Aaron Young: Yeah. Yeah. Cause we're, we're, we're we're addicts, every Schumer, single human on the face of the planet is an addict.
[00:41:00] We haven't added mindset, which is the ID that we collect. We want, we want something outside of ourselves. So when we complicate, it's the idea of obsession, the mind getting addicted to something, it doesn't have to be drugs and alcohol. And so we get caught up in the idea that addiction is a guy with a brown paper bag or a needle.
[00:41:18] And the guy going to the gym five times a week in a non, his family is an addict. The guard going to work 60, 70 hours a week and ignoring his family is an addict. The guy who gets in these kinds of puppies every weekend, cause he can't answer families, Natty, we're all addicted. And when you simplify life and you remove a lot of the clutter, you lift with you and then you see that and you know what being an addict is, kick-ass, I'm an addict shit.
[00:41:43] That's what, so what do I do with that? I work on it now I'm out of that denial. I mean, it's self honesty. I'm addicted to work. I'm addicted to gym. I'm addicted to sex, to relationships with the people I'm addicted to chaos. You know, some people are addicted to their kids. Find that thing inside you and then strip it away.
[00:42:01] And what you're left with is looking at. And you do that by simplifying because the things that you're doing, Brent are beautiful and amazing to do. Just like me. Like you look at my life, I just took it too far. So if I did the conservation, but if I simplified it, especially in the conservation world, when I went to war with the NGOs and the profit making businesses over there I'd have one.
[00:42:23] Yeah. But because I went too hard, too fast, I wasn't able to look at my behavior. I wasn't allowed to be honest with the fact that I was acting like an arrogant prick. I was, he, you know, I was a foreigner in Africa telling Africans and being there three, four generations, if they were stupid or wrong now on the surface of the facts, they probably work, but I wasn't doing it in the way that I was going to achieve anything long lasting except make enemy.
[00:42:45] So it is that same mentality that when we do the things we do, we don't want to stop being who we are, our values and who we are at. Our core is fricking beautiful. But we do with people like you, and I need to just sometimes take a big, but it's about the breath man. Take that big gut breath in and yeah.
[00:43:02] Am I going too fast here? Am I ignoring? What's really important, which is, you know, for me, am I ignoring my step son? Because he's had a bad weekend with his, with his dad. Am I ignoring my partner? Because I'm focused and freaking on about money in the business, not succeeding and then going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where am I?
[00:43:20] I'm ready right now. Go and give her a hug until your lover, you know, go and do whatever it is you may need because the things that drive us and that we're passionate about, they're not going anywhere. You're not going to change your fundamental core and be your passion will still remain there. And then what that moment of coming out of it, not going guns blazing and head down full first.
[00:43:38] Like I have in my life allows you to be a little bit more relaxed and at peace with what you're doing and you tend to find less control. And you know, we talked about it when I came back home, we end up in the flow and we were in, when we're in flow. My humble opinion of flow is in God's purpose or in the universe has purpose or the sources purpose or whatever word you're comforting.
[00:43:59] The flow is just your letting go of control that the human mind demands, the mind wants to know and wants to fix. It wants to have a set goal and wants to know when and wants to know how God's like, no, man, trust me, trust. You're alive. You got up this morning and you suck the big breath in and you got out of bed and you're eat.
[00:44:19] You still got your choices. I haven't taken those away from you. So choose to stay in this moment now. And when you, an hour later, when you've done the things that really matter, which is connecting with your family, with your colleagues with someone who needs help serving your community, then go back to that thing because it will be 10 times more potent, and you'll be 10 times more at peace with the results and how it unfolds a hundred percent addicted.
[00:44:41] And you said there's that's our first addiction is to not stop moving. And when we do stop moving, what do we do? TV remote phone. X-Box we do it. We never, we stop. And we say we're okay. Actually not. And this is the funny thing about us is we've created all this entertainment that is supposedly restful, which gaming TV sitting on our ass and allowance.
[00:45:02] It's not actually at risk and you're not still. No, no, no. The entire body is still firing off. Everything is still going. You're actually sometimes less at rest sitting in front of a TV. Then you are going for walk outside
[00:45:14] David Dowlen: while you're listening or having come face to face with yourself. How's
[00:45:17] Aaron Young: that? It is.
[00:45:18] And this is why meditation for me and people shy away from it. And I'm starting to do a lot of free classes. He now with guys is the key, the early key to it because when you're faced with yourself, you have nothing but honesty when you're in stillness and solitude in your office or wherever it is that you choose to sit still.
[00:45:35] There's nothing, but you, yeah, you can't, there's nothing to distract you. You can't reach out and grab that.
[00:45:42] David Dowlen: Ah, you're going to rock some people's worlds, man. I'm telling you.
[00:45:45] Aaron Young: Thanks brother. It's it's, it's humbling to hear it because it's just me, uh, like an I don't have, you know, um, um, life experience taught.
[00:45:53] Well,
[00:45:54] David Dowlen: life experience is one of the best teachers. I believe it is you, you can, you can educate people to an intellectual level. Some with schooling, obviously, right? You can learn book intelligence, but book intelligence comes when you add book intelligence to life experience, and then opening yourself to the lessons that come in between.
[00:46:17] Aaron Young: Beautiful. I say to people, knowledge is an incredible thing. We've got so much of it. We're drowning in it, but it's useless to it unless we practice it. And it becomes wisdom because knowledge in action is wisdom. You know? So you take all of that life experience and you actually do something. You act with it.
[00:46:31] Now you become wise. It's not a wise soul. If you sit in a room, a library and read your entire life, you are not alone. You were incredibly knowledgeable, probably incredibly intelligent IQ, but you will not become. And that's, that goes back to the doubted chain that goes back to the summer. You need to put in the action and by taking action, you're going to make mistakes.
[00:46:53] And that's why I thought you were said yesterday about the fallible man. The fallible man is a man who's made mistakes. And the fallible man is a man. He's going to kick ass because he's learned from being fallible. Is that ability to say I've done it, I've been there. I learnt I might do it again, even because I'm human, because that's what we do.
[00:47:12] But then I'm going to take the second time and I'm going to take someone else or I'm going to support someone else or I'm going to help someone. And I think that's, you know, the beauty of, of, you know, what you're trying to do with the fallible man and the beauty of, I guess, you know, I was talking about this sort of stuff, is we shy away from our mistakes.
[00:47:27] We shy away from the errors, the bad relationships, the poor parenting choices, you know, and the list goes on the bad financial. The reality is your power is in those mistakes. If you've got the strength to admit them and have the self honesty to go back and go, let me have a look at that properly. You go, geez.
[00:47:44] I really cocked up there at that point was where I really went. I went left and what was I thinking? You know, you own it, you own it now. And then you get to go back and go, wow, man, I won't do it again. If you deny it happened and you blame everyone else, you don't get that wrong. When you point that finger at you completely strip yourself of your power choice gone because now it's everyone else's fault, not in your room.
[00:48:06] And it's something we talked about, you know, we checked yesterday that victim, that victim mentality victims are powerless. That's a smart choice and it's choice. I
[00:48:16] David Dowlen: I'm, I'm very big into, in my own journey. I mean like the Felbamate, I started my journey and that's one of the things I'm very into is like the more responsibility I take more ownership.
[00:48:29] I take my choices, my decisions, my past good, bad or ugly. The more, I have the power to actually do something with them and to decide where I'm going and make my choices, because if I own it, then I can do something about it. If it's, if it's just, oh, it happened, then I've got no power and it doesn't really matter what I do about it.
[00:48:53] So I can't fix my own problems. I can't get out of my own holes, I think for myself or anything else. And so I'm very, very big into taking the power away from this. Oh, it's just, you know, it's just the way the world works. It's just the way life is. I hate those terms. It's like now I made a choice. I'm going to make a choice and I'm going to control where it's going.
[00:49:17] And there are some things that are outside of your control, but there are a lot of things that people want to say. It's just happenstance. That really is.
[00:49:26] Aaron Young: Well, it's an excuse. I think, I think that that's become one of those little traits. And I think this is where sadly we've lost touch with, with spirituality slash religion.
[00:49:34] You know, when everyone started to give up their faith, we lost touch with that. You know, we, we, we didn't have anyone to trust. So we basically stopped trusting entirely. And so now it became blame. The state blame, the government blame, the president blame, the church, blame the blame, everyone, but I'm the minority blaming the majority blame the someone, and now we living in a world and I'm going to say mainly the first world that does this, but even the third wall, starting to struggle because of the TV that we're not pumping into the poor parts of the world.
[00:50:01] We just idea that I'm not responsible for my own life, that some magical, you know, money is going to drop from the sky or the government's going to hand me a bunch of money or the jobs will be created by, or we've given up, um, the responsible parts
[00:50:15] David Dowlen: of our lives. You said in one of your videos that you think the men are at a turning point, what do you mean by.
[00:50:24] Aaron Young: Well, this is a big one, man. It is cause it's huge because I do believe, I think we've been vilified. I think we've lived with a lot of guilt. I think there's an incestual set of guilt. We went through like 40 years. We're basically, even though we're still in charge of business, we're still, we're still at the top of most things we had the finger pointed at us.
[00:50:41] Women went on this massive revolution of freeing themselves and getting these rights that they earned. And what happened is we had, I was taken away because every time we tried to stay in up somewhat pointless and said, you can't do that. You've you, you're responsible for colonialism. You're responsible for the financial crashes.
[00:50:56] You're responsible. Men are vilified for everything and you know, maybe rightly so 40 years ago, but right now we're not right now. We are the builders of the future. And this is not to take away from women being part of that process. But it's about men taking part in their role as the protectors and the nurturers of the communities.
[00:51:14] If we don't now choose to let go of that part. If we don't choose to own who we truly are. And that is the fallible parts of our scars. This is not just about the strength and the power. And I'm the almighty creator of my destiny. This is about owning the selfishness, the manipulation, the lies, the bad choices and going, I'm going to honestly learn from these openly, and I'm going to share this so that the people around me can do the same.
[00:51:45] Then we get to grow right now. We're stagnant right now. We're making this choice to put our heads in the sand, deny who we are, deny our faults, deny our mistakes, and we're just running headlong into the future. We're putting our heads in phones, heads in TVs, heads in gaming, working more and disconnecting from the reality of, of the now.
[00:52:07] And that is where human beings having an experience, which requires us to stop and be honest about who we are. No. I said, why, why, why would I do that? It's painful. I don't want to go back into my past. I don't want to look up my mistakes. Why must I dig up and trudge dreads that up? Because what you don't deal with, you pass onto your kids.
[00:52:26] Now, this is why I think it's responsibility. And I think men need to take a real, a real good listen to this. We are the center, pivotal energy point in time. If we don't have our shit together, Dawn's not a happy place. Mom can't carry everything. So if we don't take ownership of that presence in that house, that radio tap to the next door and the next door and our community suffers when we get our house right then next door can see.
[00:52:51] As an example, man, look at this guy has got his act together. What does he do? He's grateful. You live simply. He's a man of peace and stability, not a weakness, stability. What you meant. They're playing with these kids, even when he's on his way to work. When he gets home, Todd still at the point with these kids, it doesn't play.
[00:53:13] On the days when he's really struggling and it's really tough, it takes a big breath in, pulls your shoulders back and he keeps going and he goes twice as hard because we're men. That's what we're physiological built for. We are built for challenge, strip away all this modern technology and all this modern lives on these big homes.
[00:53:29] We are tribal. We always were, and you can't remove that primal side of us. And so what we need to start doing is start realizing that we have a choice and you can't go on hunt anymore. Like we used to, and we don't have this, you know, the same gatherings. We're not required to be that same man, but you can still come back to being that center of peace.
[00:53:49] You still come back to being that center of a household that when you're stable, when you're in that present moment, you're ma you're the mother of your kids, your kids, your parents, your sisters, your brothers, your general community around you. Is it peace, peace, peace, peace means free of anger, free of fee for service.
[00:54:12] If you listen. Yeah. Kind of finish. If you free us of those things, you free us of the poisons of them odd night, because we've got everything we possibly need to live the most beautiful laws right now. And we're basically destroying that by choice. It's not the president's fault. It's not the government's fault.
[00:54:35] You wake up every single day. The president doesn't tell you how to buy, save. You, choose how you buy to stop looking to point up and up and up and over and across the neighborhood and start looking at yourself, start owning your choice and watch how that strength and that stability in that general steadiness in your life, your kids will start to react.
[00:54:54] If your partner start to react differently, people will approach you and ask you how, but remember you're going to need dedication and discipline. It doesn't come easy, but then that's what we are. Look at us, put us in a war situation and look what happens and not to use wars, a terrible analogy, but what happens?
[00:55:11] We rise to the challenge. We become the best of the best, not because of the killing and not because of that ship, but because we've got our brothers beside us in that tribal aspect, again, connected to Maine. Yeah. We've stopped doing all that. You don't have to go to war to be connected to the guy next door.
[00:55:28] Yeah. You don't have to go and pick up a gun to get that bow, that brotherhood back we don't, but we seem to think we do. And you know, and this is, this is why many of us aspire to join the military while I always did. I wanted that brotherhood. I want that challenge. We don't need to do that. We need to do that in our own backyards.
[00:55:44] Right now. Stick your head over and talk to your neighbor. Invite him for a barbecue, you know, go and hold a meeting. And apart where a bunch of fathers sit and talk together about being good dads. What was your, what was your parenting win for this week and where did you file? Can I help.
[00:56:00] David Dowlen: When, wouldn't life be a lot easier.
[00:56:01] If we all just had a few more barbecues with our friends, our neighbors
[00:56:06] Aaron Young: Mate, it would change everything,
[00:56:09] David Dowlen: have a neighbor who, I mean, the guy, I'm not sure, the guy who cook other than grilling, he had like four barbecue girls. Like it'd be snowing and he'd be in the edge of his garage with the door.
[00:56:20] Aaron Young: Sounds like me good.
[00:56:23] Yeah.
[00:56:25] David Dowlen: W we turn them into block parties and start out with him and be like, my wifi had joined him and his wife. And then pretty soon, like we've got half the neighborhood in and out of the front yard. Anytime we did it in the front yard. If we didn't want somebody else to come, we had to go to the backyard.
[00:56:39] But we ended up with like, you know, half the neighborhood right there. And it's like, you know, I don't ever talk to you otherwise, but you know, we can have a beer, we can, you know, throw something on the grill and call it good. And we have a whole lot more in common though.
[00:56:52] Aaron Young: Yeah, you do. And you, and we're never going to learn about people and what they need and how we might be able to help them by sitting at home, looking at them through a window.
[00:56:58] Well, wave and traumas. We drive off to work in the morning and I think this is, this is another, you know, another discussion we could possibly have. And this is nothing I teach is audio connection. We are with like it or not connected creatures. We're not tigers who are solitary animals. We're pack we're we're wild dogs.
[00:57:13] We're pack animals, whatever you want to call it with lines, we are supposed to be connected. And that doesn't mean you have to lock everyone. Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about seeing them kumbaya and hugging everyone at all. We're still individuals who have different needs and boundaries and might not like everyone, but we need to start learning to respect them.
[00:57:29] Even if we don't like what they're saying. And I mean, you guys, you've got, you're the greatest example of what can happen when division of opinion goes too far, you can not like what someone says, really. You can despise it and think you're wrong, but you don't despise or disrespect underneath them as a human, because that creates the.
[00:57:48] And the more we divide as a species, the more look at what we'll look at, what we're sitting in. Oh yeah. You know, and we are at our best when we're at a block party, when everyone, regardless of what, where, how and why let's go over everything. And also it breeds, or the opportunity for honesty, where a guy can say, you know what, I'm struggling.
[00:58:07] I'm not, I don't get this parenting thing. My kid hasn't slept in four days that Mrs is screaming. What do you guys do? And then you're giving that guy, make this passes and you can take a breath and go, you know what? I'm not the first one because humans tend to think we're the only ones going through things.
[00:58:23] It's just me. Poor me. I'm the only one. And we forget that there's an entire world out there and sadly, an entire world full of a lot of suffering. So for us in the first world, again, you know, it comes back to that beautiful gratitude, gratitude, and a grateful moment as you crack an ice cold, be that this is, you know, this is peace.
[00:58:43] David Dowlen: Tell me about what you're doing with that.
[00:58:45] Aaron Young: Okay. Well, we'll look, catalysis is just me. It's, it's a, it's my coaching business. It is, it is it's me. It literally is. You know, I want to, I want to go into a big spiel. It's everything I've talked about is taking my 47 years of life experiences and offering them to people as inspiration.
[00:59:03] You know, we live in a, in a world that is full of fear and a lot of hopelessness. And what I do is I use my experiences to help people find the gratitude, how to find the simplicity, how to overcome adversity. So if there's a trauma there that you think has got you gripped, you can't work with has got you on your knees, or it's not true, and you're not.
[00:59:23] And people don't like me saying that, but the reality is is if I can get through what I've got through in this 47 years, there's nothing that another human can achieve. So I teach that I do a lot of public speaking. I do a lot of workshops. And now more specifically, I've gone into a lot of men's work.
[00:59:38] And this is talking about what you just talked about, father. I'm realizing that as far as if we become more and more disconnected in a family unit, our kids are almost being raised fatherless. So even though dad is there, he's not truly there and a lot of homes. And so what I'm starting to do is work with fathers about how they can connect with their kids, how they deal with a baby, because a lot of men can't handle a baby.
[01:00:00] The idea that it's like, take that until it stops crying until it can walk and then you can Chuck it over here and I'll be all good with it. The problem is, is those early bonds are created in that first four months. So I teach fathers about that. I teach fathers about patients, but I teach them more importantly and overlying.
[01:00:16] The biggest thing for fathers is connection, connection with their children and connection with their partners and connection with the community. You know, the example you gave of the three fathers teaching another man is the greatest thing. I can say what I do. You know, I'll, I'll work with groups of 7, 10, 20 guys.
[01:00:32] And talk about instances like that, where we try to rely or go back on those primal bonds. You know, and give them some support and some guidance so that this is idea that they're alone is vaporized is gone because we're never alone unless we choose to be. And so that's what my aim is with catalyst now is to be a presence in my community to be that peaceful presence, all those things I've talked about and, you know, words, words, words, I live them.
[01:01:00] And that I believe for me, it's probably a big difference between me and a lot of other people. And what I embodying catalyst is I live the I'm not a mouthpiece. I've not read this stuff in a book. I created all of this from my own explorations of my own mistakes. Why moments of being fallible. That's where I found them.
[01:01:19] And I support people through those. You know, as far as I need to go, you know, I work with people all over the world from three months to six months and beyond because I want to see people be the best I can be.
[01:01:33] David Dowlen: Okay. I, I don't, I don't endorse people very often, but just the side conversations that I've had with Erin and this entire podcast, if you're looking for a coach, somebody to help you through, and you're tired of all the placating BS that you see advertised on the internet, reach out to Aaron, go to his Facebook.
[01:01:57] Uh, if you're on the video, it's on the screen. If not it's facebook.com/catalyst coaching, a U S T one word guys, and it will be in the show notes. It will be in the description, whatever platform you're on. Go touch base with Aaron guys. He's not going to hold your hand and tell you it's all. Okay. But he might just point you in the right
[01:02:21] Aaron Young: direction.
[01:02:22] I will. And I guarantee you, one thing is I won't leave you. I don't, I don't leave people until they're finished. You know, when I work with businesses, we remind business owners that your biggest commodity and the greatest thing you're ever going to have as a businessman. Um, you know, so this idea that, um, we can just basically talk about things it's going to be all right now, I require you to get up off your butt.
[01:02:43] I require you to do things and I require you to take action. And that's what we need in the world right now.
[01:02:48] David Dowlen: Oh my goodness. Coach actually expect you to do something. You may break the internet with that one.
[01:02:56] Aaron Young: The truth is I probably won't make many friends. This is the problem with what I do and the things I've got to stay true to myself because I could switch and I could become like the rest of them.
[01:03:03] And I could sit there and become a glorified counselor and listen to your stories and tell you I'm going to hit the tires, you and do all this. And I'm not taking away from anyone or slagging anyone, but the truth is your freedom and your salvation isn't in me is isn't even his pot. It's in you on the guide that takes you back to you.
[01:03:21] That is it.
[01:03:24] David Dowlen: Aaron, if someone wants to find you other than the Facebook group, do you do any other social media or anything?
[01:03:29] Aaron Young: Yeah, you can follow me on Instagram as well. So that's catalyst coaching. Uh, if you search me there, um, YouTube channel, Aaron Young catalyst, you could find me through, uh, Aaron Young on Facebook and now I don't do websites and I don't do promotion.
[01:03:41] And I don't do PR because the truth is I believe that God, the universe brings the people to me. And you know, it's probably one of my failings that I don't believe in marketing. I believe in advertising, marketing is manipulation. It's selling your stuff. You don't need. I have the ties because I believe on the value to people.
[01:04:00] The problem is, is, you know, I'm probably a little too shy with that and I need to grow.
[01:04:06] David Dowlen: I understand entirely Aaron, thank you for being on the show. Thank you for spending time with us and sharing guys be better tomorrow because of what you do today. And we'll see you next time.