The Fallible Man

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A Different Kind of Man a different kind of Lifestyle

  • The Fallible Man

5 Pieces of Advice Every Father Should Share

As a father there are a lot of things that I want to teach my children, so much I hope to share. There are many things I am looking forward to doing with them for the first time and sharing with them as they gain some wisdom from those experiences. I believe all parents are lifetime teachers and, do not ever be confused that because I write predominantly for men that I undervalue the position of mom. Mothers are another huge mission, but I write mainly for men. Fathers are often undervalued; before you argue that, you must stop and look at the statistics. This is one of the reasons The Fallible Man exists. We hope to encourage and inspire men to do everything they can to be the best version of themselves. To the men who wish to be good fathers and are being prevented from doing so; never give up, because your child never will. There is an ember in every child’s heart that refuses to be extinguished, hoping their father loves them. Never give up hope and never stop trying. To the men out there who have fathered a child and shunned your responsibility, step up and fix it. Be the man you were meant to be.

With all the many things we are to pass on to our children I have often wondered about what to prioritize. What would I tell my daughters if I only had minutes left to pass on knowledge that would shape their life without me?

This is the list.

1. Your Life is Your Responsibility

There is one person and one person alone over whom you have control in this life—and that is yourself. Since you are the only person you can control, you are the only person who can take responsibility for your life. That includes your energy, your happiness, your fulfillment, your career, your choices and more. You are responsible for you and you alone. You are not responsible for anyone else. How could you be? It is their responsibility to take care of themselves. Yes, you can and should support someone in making good choices, building a life that makes them happy, and taking care of themselves. In fact, taking responsibility for your own well-being is precisely how we are better able to be present for those around us. Just remember: Support and responsibility are two extremely different approaches. You take responsibility for yourself. You support other people. Do your best not to reverse or mix up the two.

You will have friends, close friends and loved ones and maybe one day a family. You are responsible for you and you support them. Teach your children about this and support your children, they will make their own way with what you pass on.

2. Being Afraid is Okay, letting it stop you from doing what you should is not.

Have courage. This is how fireman run into burning buildings, police officers chase bad men trying to do people harm and soldiers stand their ground in hell. You must be courageous, and courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to overcome it and not be imprisoned by it. It is the ability to move forward when all others run away. Fear can keep you sharp and alert to dangers but never surrender to it.

No person is “fearless.” We are all often fearful of things we cannot control and things that will likely never happen. Healthy people learn to control the fear and use it to shape themselves into a better person. Meet fear head on, scream into the darkness that you will never bow before it. You will come out stronger than you ever knew was possible.

3. Just Keep Going No Matter What

You might lack skill, you might lack hope, you might lack money—honestly, most people, at one point or another, have lacked these seemingly important endowments. But if you have grit, determination, and persistence, you will always make it through to brighter days because you can outlast the days that make you want to give up. If you learn to become comfortable with the discomfort of rejection, uncertainty, and obscurity you will forever persevere to claim the moments of joy and accomplishment you seek. Life will not always look how you imagined it because life is rarely predictable, but it will feel familiar, it will feel right, it will feel like home.

All you have to do is keep going. No matter what.

Stagnation is the anthesis of this thought and by far one of the worst things you could possibly do. Dead things stagnate, all that is life is in motion. Constant change and growth allow you to become all you are truly meant to be.

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

–Walt Disney

4. Listen More than You Speak!

You were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. Perhaps it is because you were meant to spend more time listening than speaking. Listening is a full body activity. Your eye contact, body language, and what you do with your hands defines if you are listening no matter what you say. Be in the moment and actually “hear” people.

As humans, one of our basic needs is to feel heard, seen and understood. When you honor someone else with your undivided attention, you help assuage their anxiety, wash away their worry and find clarity in the chaos. Because you are showing them that despite how bad things might seem, they are not alone.

Listen intently. Do not just hear the words and syllables—listen so you can understand and relate. Listen to learn. Open your mind up to comprehend what is happening in the world around you and within you. Listen to empathize. Open your heart up to imagine what someone else is going through.

Sometimes, we just need someone to lend an ear. The more adept you are at doing so, the better. And the more likely you are to get the same in return.

A note of caution on this, many people will